Detective mum

Chatting to a fellow working mum highlighted a truth about parenthood that no one tells you. It takes so much research, so much forensic examination of all the intel, all of the time! You need detective training.

There seem to be so many decisions on ways to bring up your child that aren’t in any way intuitive or straightforward. Maybe it’s become more complicated for our generation with its non-stop Google access? We have information at our fingertips so we expect to understand everything. Yet so often there is no right answer, only lots of very conflicting opinions! It means you have to constantly be in detective mode. Endlessly searching for that gem of insight in a sea of noise.

Here’s a few topics I’m currently wrestling with / researching:

• Sleep - somehow my baby still wakes every couple of hours, meaning I wake up to help him get back to sleep. This exhausting routine has led to many a frantic 3am search for sleep experts. The advice I’ve found includes sample bedtime routines, keeping strict diaries, getting white noise machines, leaving baby to cry it out or under no circumstances leaving baby to cry it out. As evening approaches, all I know is I’m starting another night shift. Doing my best to get us both through. I’m stuck for how to improve things, but keep trying and hoping sleep naturally happens a lot more this year.

• Car seats - I got an all-singing pram at the beginning which included a car seat. This has been perfect but now I realise that it’s designed for a young baby and you are supposed to change the car seat when babies reach a certain height. Which mine has. Cue lots of comparison websites, trying to understand why child car seats are recommended to be rear facing, ISOFIX versus non ISOFIX, what type even fits in my car etc etc. It’s all so baffling that I decided to book a free consultation so someone can explain the seats to me (thank you Halfords!) But why is it all so hard? The UX of baby products is a big opportunity area!

• You’d think that giving your baby a drink of water or milk couldn’t be that complicated right? Wrong! I’m now thankfully over the phase of trying different formula milks to help reflux, managing of course to choose the one that has a nationwide shortage and is hardly ever in stock. But now I’m being told not to give the baby bottles any more because it can impact teeth development or something?! So I’m trying to figure a way to give a 1 year old liquid from a cup without him spilling it all every time. There are lots of specially designed cups - check out this Made for Mums review article. They appear to be saying that every cup is the best cup! But for a different reason. So how do I know which reason / benefit works for my child? This is a typical issue with buying products for kids - reviews are often positive but highlight that it worked for their particular child in their particular circumstance. Would it work for yours? You can buy it and see. It’s pot luck then. Or just buy all of them?

So baffling. Luckily the mum WhatsApp groups tend to help (we are all detectives!) and I’ve noticed that parents of multiple children seem considerably more relaxed / knowledgeable. And as for me? I keep my research skills fresh with all these requirements.